


Baby Styles

by astorytodiefor



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gay, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2580722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astorytodiefor/pseuds/astorytodiefor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and his family is going to spend the summer with Harry's mums best friend and her family. He's not very excited, to say it that way. He know theres another boy in the other family, a boy at his age. Harry's mum is positive he's gonna make a friend.</p><p>Harry meets Niall and his whole world changes. Niall can see him. He can see the depressed big and how he struggles to get through the day. He tries his best to help.</p><p>When the summer is over, Niall travels back to Ireland and Harry is left alone again. Wait, not exactly alone.. He's pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Harry, come on, we're going to be late!" Anne shouted, standing in the doorway with bag in her hands. "Maura and her family is nearly there already!" Harry cursed under his breath before he sighed and went downstairs. He really didn't want to go. What fun could he do, with a stranger his mum expected to be his new best friend and an old cabin? Even his own sister said that he was doomed. "I'm coming, mum, jeez!" Harry mumbled while he passed her. His curls was being reckless again, falling over and over again down in his green eyes. Anne stopped her son and pushed away the curls with a smile. "Oh Haz, don't hang with your head like that, you look like a sad sunflower. It's going to be fine. You know, there's a lot of books there? And the lake? Just don't take it for granted that it's going to be boring." Harry just nodded and went outside, towards their car. How could his mum be that positive? It was almost annoying. Gemma, his older sister, was already seated in the passenger seat with her headphones on. Harry hated the backseat. It was always empty boxes of coke and papers stuck everywhere. He had to push everything away with force just to get enough space for his thin body. "Go holiday!" he mumbled sarcastic and crossed his arms. This was going to be SO not fun. Harry watched their mum locking the house and coming down to the car. Quickly Harry made sure his sleeves covered his cuts so his mum didn't see them. He couldn't take any chances.

The trip was the most boring trip Harry had witnessed in a very long time. Anne and Gemma wasn't exactly in the talking mood, his sister totally into the music world and his mum focused on the road. That meant Harry was alone. His mum allowed him to bring only six books, because she meant they had a bunch at the cabin. Yeah right. Harry had his own favourites, and couldn't quite understand how they had books he liked there. It was an old cabin, and they didn't have books like Paper towns or The mortal instruments. Yeah, he liked girly books sometimes, books that weren't a hundred years old. God. And all of his books was in his bag, which his mum had placed in the baggage room. He didn't have anything to do, except staring out of the window. "Harry, look, we're almost there!" Anne squealed, pointing forward. Harry moved his gaze and sighed. It was cows everywhere! Black ones, brown ones, golden ones, white ones.. Farms, green fields where someone grew vegetables of all kinds... The countryside. Yee haa. "Oh, look, horses!" Gemma pointed, smiling wide. She loved ringing and was quite good at it, too. "How lovely! Maybe you could pay a visit in there, ask about a ride?" Anne suggested. "Yeah, it can't hurt anyone!" Gemma and Anne started to talk again, and Harry was left alone. Again.

When they finally reached the house, Harry got out of the car before Anne had turned the engine off. His lungs sucked the fresh air thankfully in. It was torture being in that car, where the air felt so unbelievably thick. It was rare that Harry got sick when being in a car, but this time he felt like he could throw up any minute. "Harry, come over here, you have to carry your bag inside!" Anne shouted from the car. She had opened the back and lifted their bags out. Gemma was already gone. Harry sighed and raked a hand through his curls. He didn't want to work now. All he wanted to do was to take a swim at the lake. His body was boiling. "Coming, mum", he answered and walked unwillingly to the car, grabbing his bag. "Where is my room?" Anne waved with her hand. "You and Maura's youngest son is sharing a room. Find him, find your room." Great. Now Harry, who didn't like people at all, was going to share a bedroom with a stranger? This holiday only got better and better. "But mum, I", Harry begun, but Anne didn't listen to him. Sighing, Harry turned to the large house that ruled in front of him. "Better find the goblin, then".

It wasn't that hard finding him. Harry only had to pop his head into the kitchen, and there he was. He spotted the blonde Irish guy right in front of the fridge, half of his body inside it. He seemed pretty into whatever he was doing in there. Harry cleared his throat and stepped inside. "Excuse me, but you're Niall, right?" The boy jumped and turned around, staring at Harry a few seconds before he swallowed. "Y-yeah, that's me.. You're Harry? Anne's son?" Harry nodded. He then blushed and scratched his neck. "Niall.. I'm don't mean sounding rude, but you have dressing around your mouth." Niall froze and quickly cleaned his mouth with his sleeve. "Oh, god, I'm sorry you saw that... How foolish of me, I'm..." Harry held up a hand to stop the Irish babbling. "I don't care, okay, I only need you to show me my... Our room, okay?" Niall nodded and closed the fridge behind him. He then walked past Harry and out in the hallway. "Of course, follow me, then." Finally. Harry could finally relax and unpack his stuff. His body longed after an afternoon bath. Alone. Just him and the water.

Harry and Niall's room was quite nice, actually. The walls was painted in a light baby blue colour which matched quite good with the beige carpet floor. To beds were lined at two corners of the room, a window and a nightstand between them. There was one dresser, which Harry guessed they had to share. To his surprise, there was two bookshelves standing in the two other corners, filled up with a huge collection of books. Harry smiled and dumped his bag on the bed he assumed was his, since the other one was covered with bunch of clothes and a guitar. "Do you play?" He asked Niall, who stood awkwardly at the door with his hands in his pockets. Niall nodded. His cheeks was turned into a nice cherry colour. He seemed embarrassed. "Yeah, I do." Harry nodded and swallowed. Was this the boy he was going to be 'BFF' with? They had a long way to go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I totally forgot an authors note in the last chapter, lol, sorry! But I have to warn you guys: this story is about mpreg (male pregnancy), and don't come to me with those comments about it being unrealistic. Don't even bother. Of course I know about that, I mean, I write this. I can write whatever I please. If you think mpreg stories is disgusting, don't bother reading this, then!
> 
> Talk to me on kik if you want to; Ibobenon, I love talking to new people ^^
> 
> So, enjoy!

When Harry had unpacked all his stuff, he grabbed a towel and his swimming pants. He had promised himself that bath, and he was still going to get it. Half way through the front door, someone stopped him. "Harry? Where do you think you're going?" Anne asked, her arms firmly crossed over her small chest. Harry sighed and stopped unwillingly. "I'm just going to take a bath in the lake! Are you going to stop me from that?" She smiled, shooking her head. "No I'm not. All I ask is for you to bring Niall." Really? Harry had to bring the annoying Irish boy with him? "No way, mum, I need some privacy", Harry mumbled, taking a few steps forward. "Harold Edward Styles! Take Niall with you. Don't be a jerk." He stopped again by the sound of Anne's sharp voice. Did he really have to..? His mind told him to run, to fight for a moment alone, yet his mouth answered, "alright! Fine, I'll do it!" Anne nodded, finally pleased, and went back inside.

A few minutes later, Niall walked through the door, his blue eyes unsure. "Hi.." he mumbled, scratching his neck. "Uhm, Anne told me to join you for a bath? Is that okay?" Harry shrugged and started to walk forward on the small path that led to the lake. Niall followed in his heels. "I guess", Harry muttered. They walked a few minutes in silence. All Harry could hear was Niall's heavy breath and his footsteps behind him. The silence was really awkward, but Harry just couldn't figure out something to say. He didn't want to be rude, though.. "Have you been here before?" Harry finally managed to push out from his mouth, smiling shyly. Niall's eyes moved to meet Harry's. "No, just a couple of times. It's been almost three years since last time." Harry nodded, his hands nervously tugging the towel against his hip. "Oh." So much for starting a conversation.

He was luckily saved by they reaching the lake, the blue water shining. Harry threw his shirt off and was about to pull down his pants when he found Niall just standing there, just staring at him. Harry raised and eyebrow and cleared his throat to get the Irish boy's attention. "Niall, everything okay?" He didn't know why on earth Niall stared at him, it wasn't that weird with four nipples? And.. He wasn't sure about how people thought about his body, but he wasn't fat? "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm completely fine!" Niall laughed while he blushed quite hard. "Why wouldn't I be?" Harry shrugged. "Maybe the fact that you was staring at me?" Niall dragged own his own shirt while muttering, "staring? I wasn't staring." Okay, Niall was definitely acting weird. There was something mysterious about that boy, and Harry promised himself to find out why. He pushed everything aside and changed into his swimming pants. He wasn't going to think about that when he was at the lake. It was a peaceful place without room for thoughts like that. With an animalistic sound Harry threw himself out in the water. The cold liquid surrounded him, making his curls stick to his head. When he got over the surface again he rubbed his face happily. The water felt so good and cool against his tensed skin. "Niall, come on, it's so good!" He shouted to Niall, who stood with only his feet in the water. "I.. I think I'm fine..." Niall whispered. Anne asked Harry to bring Niall... Only to stand there like a total moron? Harry sighed and got up from the water. He then did something that had to be done. "Let me down for God's sake!" Niall squealed like a girls where he was hanging over Harry's left shoulder like a five year old. "Nope, not including in the plan, I'm afraid", Harry giggled as he moved closer towards the water. "I don't want to, l-let me...!" Niall's words was cut off by the water, the Irish lads body sinking down completely after Harry throwing him down in it.

He felt his body froze. His arms tried desperately to get him up, but it didn't matter. His body continued sinking deeper and deeper into the dark. Niall was a jerk. Why didn't he tell Harry that he couldn't swim? Why didn't he tell him before they got there? Now he was lost, he felt his lungs growing empty of oxygen. He felt like he'd lost his body. Niall shouted to his brain that it had to work, that it had to get him away from the water, but it just wouldn't listen. It remained zoned out. Soon darkness washed over Niall, and he welcomed it thankfully. He didn't want to be awake down in the deep.

Harry got to the small beach quickly after pulling Niall unconscious body up after him. Why did he throw the boy down? It was clear Niall didn't want to be in the water. Yet Harry stepped over his comfort zone, and now he was getting no response from him. "Come on, Niall, breathe! Say something!" Harry whispered shakily. His hands clapped on Niall's ice cold cheeks a couple of times, but his blue eyes just didn't open. Harry went through chest compressions in his head, trying to remember anything from school. He had to at least try. He couldn't bring Niall home like that. His mum would be upset over him again. He counted inside his head while pushing down on the Irish boy's chest. "Come on, come on, come on, Niall! Wake up!" Harry raked a hand through his curls while his breath hitched. Niall had to wake up! Then he finally remembered something and was quick with tilting Niall's head back a bit. If that didn't work, he had to bring Niall back. "I'm gonna help you", Harry whispered. He bent slowly down, placing one hand on Niall's forehead and the other under his chin. Then he placed his lips over the other boy's and blew forcefully.

Niall fought in the dark. He could see some sort of a light, a spot in the distance. He knew that if he reached that, he would wake up again. He was going to kill Harry for forcing him into the water. Of course the younger boy didn't known about that Niall couldn't swim, but that wasn't a reason for doing something like that. Niall then felt something weird on his way to the light. Something that reminded him of... A kiss? But it wasn't quite a kiss, it was stronger, harder. Nearly there he felt his chest jump. A lot of pain followed. What happened to him? Where was Harry? Then he broke through with a gasp.

Harry pulled back immediately. Niall's body shook intensely, his blue eyes flew open. For a long while, all Harry could do was staring at him. Both of them breathed heavily. Niall then cleared his throat and whispered, "T-Thanks..". Harry wrapped his arms around him, holding the other boy tightly into his chest. "Promise you'll never leave me like that again." Yet Harry just met the guy, he felt funny. He didn't want Niall to leave. For the first time in forever, Harry felt comfortable with another person that wasn't Gemma or his own mum.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry woke up by a sneeze. He sat puzzled in the bed a few seconds before he understood that the sneeze came from the bed to the left. He moved his gaze slowly, the sleep still ruling his body. "Niall?" Harry whispered. His voice sounded husky and sore as it usually did in the morning. "I'm fine, really. Sorry for-" another sneeze cut off Niall's words before he continued, "waking you up this early." Harry, without fully realizing what he was doing, got out of his bed and tiptoed over to the other boy. He placed a hand on Nialls forehead and felt the heat immediately. "I'm getting you a glass of water and some pain killers". Nialls pale, blue eyes stares up at him with that feverish look over them. "You don't have..", he mumbled, but Harry was already gone out the door.

"Harry? Is that you?" a woman voice asked from behind. Harry turned around and spotted Maura, Niall's mum, standing in the kitchen doorway. "Oh, hi, mrs. Horan", he greeted, closing the cupboard and taking the painkiller in his hand. "I was just picking up some water and painkillers for Niall."Maura smiled that sweet smile of hers and crossed her arms over her chest carefully. "I told you it's allright to call me Maura, and that's very nice of you." Harry nodded and paused, actually not knowing what to say. Thankfully (or, actually...not), Niall's mum broke the silence by asking a very direct question Harry didn't see coming at all. "Harry, are you gay?" "Excuse me?" Harry furrowed his brows and couldn't do anything else than stare at this odd woman standing there in front of him. Did she think he liked... wieners instead of jungles? Was she crazy? He met Maura yesterday, only in front of the door when he and Niall came home from the lake, and he didn't know her at all. Now she thought she knew him well enough to ask him this? "I know it's weird for me to ask you this, Harry, but it has to be done", Maura said, a smile thugging her thin lips. She obviousily waited for an answer, and Harry cleared his throat. Yet, a big lump grew bigger and bigger. "Uhm.. I'm not sure... what you.. mean?" he managed to startle, his hand which held the glass shaked slightly. Maura stepped a few steps closer, her kind eyes softening. "Harry, I just wanted to ask. It's no preassure. But you have to know this about Niall... he's gay." He blinked a couple of times before he managed to pull himself together and close his O- shaped mouth that had been hanging open. "Uhm, I... I think I've gotta go", Harry forced out before he managed to push past Maura.

Niall was gay? So what! Harry couldn't quite understand why Maura told him that. He wasn't going to be all crazy and sleep with him, if that was what she meant. Harry barely knew Niall. Why couldn't she wait for Niall to tell Harry himself? Was it that hard to prick Harry on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I want to tell you something. I'm gay." Harry wasn't judging. He didn't care if he had friends who was serial killers, for that case, he didn't care. He only wanted friends.

Harry closed the bedroom door firmly shut behind him before he placed the water cup on Niall's bedside table. The blonde boy smiled thankfully back when Harry met his gaze. "Thank you". Harry sat down at the end of Niall's bed, his legs crossed and his head rested in his hands. How was he going to tell Niall what his mom told him? He was certanly not going to blurt it out like - "Your mum told me you're gay". Excellent. Great, Harry, really great, Niall will probably fancy you loads for telling him like that. You're a natural at making a fool out of yourself. The blue eyes that belonged to Niall widened and he choked on the water he just took a sip of. "She told you? Really? God, I told her to let it be." Harry let his tounge swipe slightly over his upper lip before he shook his head. "I don't mind, really, I don't care about my friends sexuality or their look." "Really?" There was disbelief in the Irish voice, something that made Harry lean closer. "Niall, really, it's fine. You'r not any different only because you like boys." They were so close that Harry could smell Niall's breath. Since he was ill, Harry expected it to smell sour or at least smell bad, but it smelled like peppermint. He loved peppermint. Their eyes met, Harry's green ones and Niall's blue. Even if Harry had tried, he would soon have figured out that he wasn't able to move his gaze. "I think you and I are going to be good friends", Niall murmured at last, leaning closer. Harry felt his heart flutter, racing as if it was going to break out of his chest any minute. What was happening to him? This wasn't usual. And.. Niall's lips against his own wasnt usual, either. Wait, what? Niall kissed him? Without even thinking, the curly haired boy placed his hands on Niall's hips, at the same time as Niall braided his hands into Harry's hair. They explored each other, tasting, smelling, feeling. Harry felt Niall's tounge tickle his lips, asking for entrance. Harry gave ut to him without hesitation. Niall leaned even closer, their chests melting together. Harry pulled away a few inches and smiled. "Niall Horan. I think your gayness is infectious."


	4. Chapter 4

Harry woke up in Niall's arms. He felt the feverish skin touching his, yet he didn't move. He felt safe in that position. He didn't care if he got ill after that night. Smiling, Harry looked up at Niall's sleeping face. His thumb brushed carefully down his cheek. Niall moved his body slightly while his lips turned into a smile. Harry couldn't remember last time he felt the feeling of being in love. Everyone he used to date only used him for sex. Forced him to when he didn't want to. Did new things to him he didn't want or didn't felt comfortable with. Every single one of them loved his body and didn't see him. But Niall? There was something different with him, even though Harry barely knew him. Niall was good. He didn't judge Harry twentyfour-seven. The blue eyes watched him with softness and wonder. Not that cocky, selfish look.

Harry yawned, something that accidentily woke Niall up. "Hey", he said slowly, his voice husky from the sleep. Then both of them blushed, remembering last night actions. Niall started to play with Harrys curls, breaking the awkward atmosphere. "Uhm... How are you feeling?" Harry was a bit confused about the question, then he tried to change position and his sore bum made itself known. "I'm okay, I guess, just a bit sore", he admitted, his cheeks turning even more pink. Niall laughed, something that turned into coughing. "Well, I think you're gonna be just fine."

The two boys lied there for several more minutes, not wanting to get up and face a new day. If Harry could choose himself, honestly, he would have stayed in bed with Niall forever. NOT neccesarily in that way, just cuddling. They didn't get that much more time, though, because someone knocked at their bedroom door. "Niall? Harry? Are you guys awake? Gem and I have made breakfast!" Anne's voice called. "Yeah, we're coming in a bit!" Harry answered, sinking further into Niall's embrace with a sigh. When they heard Anne's steps fade, Niall chuckled. "I love your mum. She's lovely." Harry got up unwillingly, cracking his back. He laughed when he saw Nialls grimace. "She's great, but she can be too much, sometimes." Niall shivered and got up as well. "Remind me that I'm not gonna be near you when you do that... that cracking-thing."

The two boys separated, Harry going into the bathroom to wash his face, Niall putting on jeans and a white t-shirt. They switched after a while, Harry bumping his shoulder playfully into Niall's when they passed each other. Harry opened his closet, staring at his bunck of clothes. As always, Anne had packed his clothes, since Harry himself sucked at picking them out. His mum wasn't any better, though. Harry found several jeans with holes on their knees and t-shirts with writing on them. He sighed and chose, against his own will, a pair of light grey jeans and a t-shirt that had "I'm a bad boy" written over it's middle. His sister would laugh her ass off when shaw him. Niall did it first, thoug, when he came out from their bathroom. "Oh my god", he breathed, his face turning red. "Tell me you're not going to wear.." He spotted Harrys face and grinned. "Oh, okay, you're actually going to wear it.. Nevermind." Harry smacked Niall's ass and huffed. "I think it's cool, so shut up."

When they got to the dining room, the others was already seated among the table, Gemma was just about to serve herself with some scrambled eggs. Both of their mums smiled brightly when their sons came. "Harry! Honey, did you sleep well?" Anne squeezed Harry's shoulder when he sat down, she then kissed his cheek. "Mum, jesus, we saw each other just hours ago, calm down", Harry mumbled embarrased, but he soon grinned when he saw Niall getting the same treatment from Maura. Gemma smiled at Harry, then paused and spottet his shirt. "Oh my god...", she said before she bursted out laughing. "Are you actually wearing that?" "Hey, stop insulting my shirt!" Harry stuck out his lower lip and crossed his arms tightly over his chest, hiding the t-shirt. "It's not funny!" Niall joined Gemma's choir, laughing his little ass off. "Harry, c'mon, it is a bit fu-" Harry shook his head and held up a hand. "No comment."

Anne took a bite of her toast and spoke, after some minutes of silence. "Harry, hey, I thought a bit.. Why can't you and Niall be home today, huh? Watch the house and such? Maura, Gem and I are going to pay a visit to that farm we drove past", she said, "to see if Gemma can borrow a horse or something." Harry shrugged and looked at Niall. The Irish lad was already half done with his third portion of bacon and scrambled eggs. "That's fine with me", he said with that accent of his. "I'm not completely fine from the cold, and a chill day sounds fine to me." Harry shrugged and smiled at his sister. "Well, I guess you girls deserve som girl time for yourselves. It's okay for me." Gemma clapped her hands like a child before she grinned and tucked one of her curls behind her left ear. "That's very kind of you, little brother."

Harry and Niall decided to be childish and make some limonade to enjoy in the sun. They messed up the kitchen pretty badly and spent over two hours just cleaning it. Then they moved themselfes out in the big garden on a carpet with the fresh limonade they just made and talked. Harry avoided the topic about his school, not wanting to ruin their moment with his depression. But of course, faith wanted another course than Harry.

Harry reached out to grab his glass, his shirt lifted itself up a bit. He quicly pulled it down, but it was too late. Niall had already seen it. "Harry? What was that?" he asked suspiciousily, leaning closer. Harry froze and swallowed quickly. "Nothing, I'm just a bit sunburned.." Niall, who of course had more strenght, rolled Harry over on his back and helt him firmly. Harry kicked in the air, trying to break free from Niall. He couldn't find out, he just couldn't... He felt Niall's warm hands pull up his shirt and then a loud gasp followed. "Harry, what the actual fuck is this?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: New chapter, guys!! Thank you so much for so many readers!! I'm so happy! Just can't thank you enough for your lovely comments and votes :) Keep going!


	5. Chapter 5

(flashback)  
Harry's heart ran so fast he was almost sure it would break through his chest. His legs moved as fast as they could with Logan Jefferson and the rest of the gang after him. They started their 'fun' by throwing paper balls in Harry's neck while the bus drove slowly down the road. Then, when Harry reached his stop, they followed him off the bus and started chasing him. Why they did it, Harry didn't know. Every day at school he backed away from them. They was left alone like they liked to be by the freaks, yet they treated Harry like a woodo doll. Harry didn't do anything to them.

"Do it, Styles, go to your mum! Cry your little faggy ass off!" Logan shouted. His teasing laugher followed, the other guys in his gang echoing it. Harry didn't cry. Harry didn't turn around or shout back. All he did was run. He ran until he reached his front door and barged inside. He managed, even with trembling hands, to close it and lock it. He knew that Logan and his guys would not hesitate to go inside after him if the door wasn't locked. As if they could read Harry's thoughts, the door knob shaked violently a couple of times before Harry could hear the harsh voices fade away. To make sure everyone was gone, he peeked through the curtains. He could se Logan's tall figure move away from the house, his friends right behind him.

Harry sank down in the hallway and pulled his knees up to his chest. His heart raced like it was running a marathon. His breath was loud and rough. He felt horrible.

How did Logan know about him being gay? Harry was really careful with keeping it a secret. No one, exept for his mum and sister, knew that he preferred guys instead of girls. He really couldn't understamd how it got out. It wasn't like it was obvious. Harry didn't drool after the other guys in his class, not even in P.E.

Quickly he got to his feet again and ran into the kitchen. Anger, hurt and sadness had taken over his troubled mind and made him take a spoon out from the kitchen drawers and pour a glass of extremely hot water. Without hesitation he brought his supplies and locked himself into the bathroom that was connected to his own bedroom.

Harry took of his shirt and pants so that he only stood in his white boxers. He met his own terrified gaze in the mirror and frowned. He wasn't ugly... was he? Did Logan say the truth when he said he couldn't bear looking at Harry? Was Harry really a scum? He shook his head and broke the connectuon in the mirror. He wasn't happy. Why couldn't he just be happy? Why couldn't the other guys let him be alone?

With shaking hands Harry took the spoon and dipped it into the almost boiling water. His breath hitched again. One side of him told him to fucking drop the spoon and run away, the other one just wanted to feel the pain so the other feelings got pushed away for even some seconds. That was good enough for him. He just wanted a short break from them.

Harry forcefully pressed the hot spoon against his hip, screaming out in pain. It hurted so bad. A red mark was left there when he again dipped the spoon and repeated the process a lot of times, changing to the other hip when the one he was hurting looked like it was gonna burn away. It was a perfect place to hurt himself. His mum wouldn't look there, nobody would notice since it was under the hem of his pants and over the start of his thigh, so he could safely wear shorts. It was safe and hurting at the same time, just perfect for him. Harry didn't have anyone. He only had himself.

(normal time)  
"Harry, what the actual fuck is this?!" Niall's voice shouted, his blue eyes wide and filled with shock. Harry didn't answer him though, he only looked every other direction than on the boy in front of him. He didn't want to see Niall's face, he didn't want to hear the words he knew came. Why did this have to happen? Why now?

"Did you do this to yourself?" Harry shut his eyes tightly. Yes, Niall, I fucking hurt myself because of a certain guy named Logan. "No..", he mumbled and finally managed to get his arms loose. Niall slid of him hesitantly. Harry turned away and swallowed. The two boys sat a long moment in silence, though Harry could hear Niall's breath run. Why did Niall even care? They met yesterday. Yes, they slept together, but thet didn't mean they suddenly were best friends like their mums wanted them to, it didn't mean that at all.

Then Niall gently touched Harry's wrist. "Harry, just answer... Did you do this to yourself?" The Irish voice sounded more soft now, something that made Harry's tensed shoulders ease a bit. "Yes." The words wasn't easy to say, and Harry had to really force them out.

Strong arms wrapped around Harry's body and he found himself being pulled against Niall's muscular chest. Somehow it felt good, relaxing, and that was all Harry needed to let his tears come. They floated freely down his red cheeks and onto Niall's singlet, but it didn't seem like either one of the boys did or wanted to care.

"Harry?" Niall mumbled, breaking the silcence after something that felt like an eternity. Harry himself sighed and changed a bit on his position, still with Niall's hands wrapped aroung him. "Yeah?" "Promise me you'll never do that again. Never."

Harry had never once in his life felt an urge to tell someone "yes" straight away like he did now. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. If he promised Niall that he wouldn't hurt himself anymore, what would happen if the sadness again took controll and he broke the promise? Harry would be so mad at himself for not doing what he'd promised. He would just turn even more confused.

Harry pulled away and sighed before he finally met the ocean blue eyes to the boy he'd learnt to trust so fast. "Niall I can't." The Irish boy opened his mouth, then closed it again. The process repeated itself a couple of times, something that made him look like a goldfish. "Niall, it's not that easy to stop! You can't be there when I'm home. You'll be in Ireland, helluva many miles away." The words seemed to hurt Niall, somehow, and Harry couldn't understand why it mattered.

"Harry, let me try to help you, yeah? We still have the summer. Please. Just let me help you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how nice you guys are! I love comments, just write your fingers off! (Not for real, bc I want you to be able to live.. Lol) And I don't bite, so ask me if you're wondering about anything x TYSM for support, keep reading!
> 
> And guess what, I'm GOING TO A ONE DIRECTION CONCERT!! Oh my freaking Tomlinson. I can't really understand it yet xD


	6. Chapter 6

Niall and Harry didn’t separate for the rest of the summer. Harry’s mind struggled to understand why Niall was still there, why he didn’t find all the red marks disgusting, why he didn’t tell their moms about Harry self-harming himself.

When their parents took the night, Harry found himself in Niall’s bed with strong arms wrapped around his body. He fell asleep easier that way, and it didn’t seem like Niall cared about it being weird or something. Harry could finally relax for the first time in forever since Logan started his play. The usual nightmares that used to hunt him at night kept their distance as long as he was close to the Irish boy.

Almost every night at home, Harry used to wake up, his body covered in sweat and his heart galloping in his chest. His cheeks was covered in dried tears. Harry then would just get up, throw some clothes on and storm outside. The fresh air in their neighborhood always made him feel better, so he’d spent many hours just walking in the empty streets or sitting on their front steps with his eyes half closed.

Usually Gemma found him after a while. They had this sort of connection. Gemma could feel when Harry was down, and she knew he’d probably go outside in the middle of the night, so she was often awake and waited for him to arrive. Harry could feel when his sister was sad too, but it was usually him taking the sad train.

The summer was over too fast. Harry had walked around with a lump in his throat the last days, clinging to Niall as much as he could. Anne was happy with herself. “I knew you to would become friends!” she had said with the triumph pretty clear in her voice. “This means we can do this again next summer!” Maura was pretty happy too, but something in her features made Harry worry a bit. Did she know they’d slept together? Did she worry about Harry breaking Niall’s heart or something? Well, she didn’t have to worry much longer since she was taking him back to Ireland, miles away from Harry.

Harry was silent the whole ride home. Gemma tried a couple of times to get him into a conversation, but he just gave her a look and she gave up. Anne was in a bloody good mood, and that annoyed the crap out of Harry. She made being happy look so simple when it clearly wasn’t.

When they arrived home, Harry thought their house felt kind of empty. He missed Niall’s presence. He missed his random laugh and his warm hugs. Harry didn’t quite understand what his heart wanted. He didn’t like Niall… did he? He was too sad, tired and too grumpy to actually think clearly.

Anne started to cook dinner and Harry found his way up to his room. The room felt cold and unfamiliar, the air in there freezing. Goosebumps appeared immediately on his arm. Harry dropped his duffel bag on the floor. The short sound of it was the only thing that could be heard, except for Harry’s breath. His body felt heavy, as if someone had added a hundred kilos on his thin shoulders.

Harry sank down on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. He felt safe in his room, the only place he got some peace from the social world outside. He could safely listen to music he liked and read magazines with male models without anyone judging him. Now, though, he felt alone. It was like Niall had taken Harry’s happiness with him back to Ireland and left Harry as an empty shell.

A knock on his bedroom door made Harry lift his face from the pillow and mumble a short “c’mon in”. Gemma peeked her head through a small crack in Harry’s door and paused, not entirely sure if her brother wanted company.

“Hey, Haz”, she said and smiled that smile that suited her perfectly, the smile that was Harry’s favorite. “Hi, Gem”, Harry said, then he sighed. Anne had probably sent his older sister up to see if he was alright since she knew Harry trusted her more. It annoyed him that his mum was like that, but at the same time, he was grateful for Gemma. It would have been much worse to talk with his mum. She would never understand this.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Gemma asked softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind her with a firm push. She came to Harry’s bed and sank down, one of her thin legs dangled outside of the bedside, while the other one was tucked under her. “I can see you’re down.” Of course she saw. She probably knew what it was already; she just wanted Harry to confirm it.

“Uh…”, Harry started, but broke off. Usually it felt like his mind had a hidden dictionary and he could speak the craziest words, but now it was gone. He didn’t know what to say. Gemma placed one of her slim hands on her little brothers left knee and smiled softly.

“Harry, you know you can tell me anything. And as usual, I’m of course not gonna tell mum”. Slowly he met Gemma’s beautiful eyes and something inside him relaxed immediately. This was his sister. It was worth trying to tell her.

“It’s Niall”, he croaked, suddenly aware his voice didn’t sound like his own at all. “I think I’m in love with him, and now he’s in Ireland. I don’t know, it’s weird.. I don’t know if I like him as more than just a friend or not, all I know is that I miss him.”

Harry wasn’t aware that a few tears had escaped his eyes before Gemma gently wiped them away with her thumb. “Harry, don’t cry”, she said before wrapping her arms around her little brother. “It kills me to see you cry.” She pulled him tighter into the hug and both of the Styles siblings sighed at the same time.

They sat like that for a while, Gemma carefully rocking her brother back and forth like he was a child. Right at the moment Harry couldn’t care less. The gesture made him feel safe, warm and eased his troubled mind for just some seconds.

“I know something you don’t”, Gemma murmured after some more silence. She pulled a little bit away from Harry and bit her lip. Harry could see the tiny hole after the piercing she had taken in her bottom lip a week or so before the summer. Anne had ben furious, yelling that she didn’t want Gemma to turn into a totally Goth. Harry had just smiled, though. It was a typical thing for Gemma to do. She liked to test new things out, even if they were dangerous and completely weird.

“And what’s that?” Harry asked while he slowly picked at his thumbnail.

Gemma smiled and tucked a curl behind her ear before she answered, “The looks he gave you made it pretty clear you’re not the only one feeling you may be in love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not publishing for a long time!! I've been quie busy with coping in real life :) Hope that's okay and that u like the chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long!! I've just been so busy With exams and so many other things, but now I'm back ;) <3 
> 
> TYSM for the comments and kudos!

Harry woke up as he expected, sweat running down his back and forehead. He'd almost forgot how the nightmares felt; he couldn't exactly say he'd missed them. He missed something - actually someone - else, a certain Irish boy named Niall Horan. Harry got quickly out of his bed while his body shaked slightly. He moved towards his closet where he found a shirt he wore a few days ago and a pair of black jeans he slowly pulled on. He had to get out. He felt like he was unable to breathe properly, like something was blocking his throat.   
And... Harry only managed to whisper, "fuck" before he had to run. He banged his bathroom door open and threw himself down on his knees in front of the painfully white toilet. Harry purged out everything he'd eaten yesterday. A few tears escaped his eyes and sweat had begun to stick his curls to his sweaty forehead. What was this? Harry usually never threw up. Maybe when he was about eight years old and a kid, but not now, when he was seventeen. Something clearly was wrong.  
Harry got a short break where he gasped for air before he had to lean forward again. The awful taste of puke was stuck in his mouth and he held one hand around his aching stomach. It felt like someone ripped him apart from the inside, something that only made that desperate feeling of getting out ten times worse. Harry wanted fresh air quickly.  
When he was sure he was done, Harry rinsed his mouth with some cold water before he got up on his feet. He felt like Bambi on the ice while he made his way out from the bathroom. The loss of something in his stomach made his head pretty dizzy. Yet, he grabbed his hoodie and pulled it over his t-shirt before he sneaked out from his room.   
Harry ran. His legs hit the asphalt slowly, softly. There was nothing else than the moon and a few lights at the street that lighted up his path. He felt free. The nausea had thankfully eased a bit because of the fresh air outside, but it wasn't gone yet. Harry wondered about what that was all about. Hopefully the pain would escape with some painkillers and some more water.   
He was going to follow his usual path down the street, to the right, across the park and then back home. But of course, faith wanted Harry to meet someone he absolutely didn't expect meeting at that time of the day, and he certainly did not want to. Harry didn't see the tall figure until he was five meters away and froze in his very position.   
The boy stood leant against a pole, a cigarette stuck in his awful mouth. It was pretty clear he didn't know about Harry's presence either, he looked straightforward into the air; it looked like he was thinking about something that was far away. His dark, messy hair had fallen into his golden eyes. He usually used to have it perfectly styled in a quiff, but now he didn't even bother swipe it away.  
Harry gulped lightly and tried to back away before Logan had noticed him, but he managed (as the fool he was) to step on a branch before he was safely out of sight, and Logan's head snapped in his direction.   
At first, the boy didn't recognize Harry, a flash of confusion flashed over his face before he finally understood who was standing in front of him.   
"You?!" Logan snapped and stepped two steps forward, clearly drunk. "What... the fuck are... you doing here?" His voice sounded harsh, but he struggled to get the words our properly. Harry swallowed several times and backed away as Logan again stepped closer.   
"Uh, I'm just...", Harry begun. His mind raced on its fastest.   
What was he going to tell Logan? The older boy wouldn't hesitate to punch him right in his face if Harry didn't gave him the answer he wanted, and Harry did not want to come home to his mum with a black eye.  
"I'm only walking home from a friend", he lied quickly, hoping Logan would believe him. "You don't have any...h... friends", Logan hiccupped, denying Harry's lie immediately.   
Well, that was a perfect thing to lie about. Great job, Harry..  
Harry suddenly felt a large hand grab around his throat, yanking his thin body closer to his terrifying enemy. Harry felt the nausea deep down in his stomach, threatening to let all everything the young lad had left in there out on Logan.   
"L-Let me go", Harry stammered. He usually never talked like that, not even with Logan near him, but now he was too close. He could feel the other boy's stinky breath tickle his nostrils. It stinked of alcohol, something that always had made Harry feel sick. He hated the smell of beer and wine; his parents usually respected him and were careful with their drinking.   
Logan pulled Harry even closer and snared shortly. "Oh no, I don't think so, buttercup. You and I have some business we should finish before I let you go any other places." Then Harry felt a big fist hit his stomach, and everything Harry owned of air in his lungs were forcefully sucked out of him.  
The last thing he thought of was Niall's safe arms holding around him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll give you guys a double update while I'm onto it ;)

Harry stayed home from school that day. Anne was quite worried when she found her son with a black eye puking in front of the toilet. She offered to stay home with him, but he turned the offer down immediately. He didn’t want his mum to be stuck home with him when she could work and have fun with her colleagues.   
Gemma was the first one who had found him, though, crying in the kitchen with a towel pressed unto his left eye and a bunch of different painkillers on the bench beside him. She had brought him to bed with a hot water bottle and told him that she wanted an explanation the next day. He didn’t disagree with that, though, only thanked her and slept a dreamless sleep through the night.  
Now though, Harry was once again throwing up. He couldn’t understand how he suddenly got so nauseous. Something had to be wrong. If it didn’t get better soon, he would make a doctor check upon him. He wasn’t that stupid, he did care about his own health when it got bad, he hated being sick. Self-harming felt good, throwing up didn’t.   
He was about to get back into bed when he found out it was already occupied. Gemma sat on it with her legs crossed and read a book, obviously waiting for him to be done. Harry swallowed a couple of times before he sighed. “Hey, Gem, why are you home this early?” She looked up, her light hair dancing as she did.   
“Harry. Are you okay? I heard you throw up.” Her voice was gentle, soothing, like balsam on Harry’s tensed figure. “Mum called me, she asked me to check on you. I was finished early at work anyways.” “Yeah, it’s probably just like a flu-thing. It will go over”, Harry sighed, taking place on his bed too, facing Gemma. His sister smiled again. Harry loved her smile a so much. Gemma looked like pure happiness when she did it.   
Gemma placed her hand on Harry’s knee, then moving it gently down to his thigh. “Harry, it’s not like you being ill like this. Please, see Dr. Martins, will you?” Harry groaned and turned his gaze away. Of course. Anne must have told Gemma about Harry’s nausea. She worried too much. “I’m fine, okay?” Harry rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
He felt like shit, to be honest. His stomach ached in a way he never had experienced before. Well, Logan did punch him really hard there. Never doubt a drunk person. Never.   
“Harry, what happened?” Gemma asked. Her perfect brows was pinched together and her slim fingers drew slow circles on Harry’s thigh. “And don’t say ‘nothing’, because a black eye and a stomach ache is obviously something.”   
He knew he had to answer, but it was really hard. Just when he was about to open his mouth to say ‘it was Logan’, the nausea choose to knock on the door and he had to run (again) as fast as he could to the bathroom before the few things his stomach contained actually came. Behind him, he heard Gemma pause in the doorway.   
“Harry, don’t bother complaining; but we’re seeing Dr. Martins now.”  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.  
Gemma brought Harry to their usual doctor, a nice man in the mid-forties with grey tousled hair and a wide smile. He was really busy since he was a popular doctor, many people visited him, but since Dr. Martins knew the Style’s siblings’ mom, he got Harry a few places forwards in the lane when he saw the curly haired lad’s name on the list. His assistant, Lyra, followed Harry and his big sister to a room where he was supposed to wait on the doctor.  
“He’s on his way to you, dear, just sit down on the bench, yeah?” she said kindly and pointed at the bench that stood in the middle of the room with a small pillow on it. Harry did as he was instructed. Gemma thought her brother looked pretty miserable where he sat, his head hang down and he twisted the hem of his shirt nervously. She wanted so badly to reach out to him, but Dr. Martins entering the room with a notebook interrupted her before she could do anything.   
“Hello Harry, I heard you were ill?” Dr. Martins asked kindly as he took a seat at his desk. “So, tell me, how are you feeling today?” Harry bit his lip and shared a quick glance with his sister before he answered. “Well, I’ve had this nausea since I woke up in the middle of the night, and my stomach aches too”, he mumbled softly, barely loud enough for the Doctor to hear him properly.   
“Okay, Harry, just let me do a little check upon you, yeah?” Harry smiled a quick smile and pushed some of his curls away from his face. What was he even afraid of? Dr. Martins was kind and warm, not horrible like other doctors usually behaved. He shouldn’t worry. Dr. Martins knew what he was doing.   
The doctor got out a stethoscope and gestured Harry to remove his. Harry did as he was told and pulled his shirt completely off, only to see Dr. Martins freeze completely. Gemma watched the two guys in the middle of the room. She could feel her heart beat faster and faster in her chest. Why did the older man pause like that? Why was this frown so clear in his face? Why didn’t he say something?  
Harry opened his mouth and was about to ask the doctor why he paused like that when the doctor just shook his head. “I’m really sorry, just zooned out there for a minute”, he laughed nervously and scratched his neck with his right hand. “I’m going to continue.”   
The younger lad felt a cold surface press against his upper chest and he had to bite his tongue so he didn’t squeal like a girl. He was a bit of a coward when it came to being at doctors, even at Dr. Martins. Silently his hands moved, following the cold metal over Harry’s soft skin, mumbling shortly to himself. Neither Harry nor Gemma could quite catch what the doctor was saying.  
The man took a step back and nodded. “Harry, I need you to take a urine sample. Here’s a cup, there’s a bathroom down the hallway. Just to be on the safe side”, he hummed and reached Harry a small cup made of plastic. “Lyra will wait outside for it when you’re done.” Harry just nodded and did as the doctor said. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t protest.   
When Harry finally got out from the toilet, Lyra took over his now full cup and tripped away from him to get it analysed. Harry found it a bit strange, though, having to take a urine sample when he only felt a bit nauseous. This was turning a bit weird.  
He and Gemma had to wait for a long couple of minutes until Lyra finally arrived and told them Dr. Martins was ready to see them again. Her smile was a bit forced, something that worried Harry. Did he have anything more than nausea? Was it bad?  
Dr. Martins was seat at his usual spot behind his desk, his head turning into Harry’s direction as the two siblings entered the room. For the second time that day, Harry took a seat at the bench and looked nervously at the doctor. Gemma didn’t sit in the visitor’s chair. She stood behind her brother with a hand on his shoulder to support him. They could either get bad or horrible news, Harry hoped for the first one.   
“So, Harry, you probably wonder why you’re not feeling well”, Dr. Martins began, but when he saw Harrys gaze he chuckled lightly and smiled widely. “This is great news, Harry.” Gemma looked confused at Dr. Martins. “Uh, excuse me, my brother is sick and you’re telling us this is good news?” The grey haired man paused before he met Harry’s gaze with his steady, blue eyes.  
“Yes. At least to me, it sounds like an interesting experience. Harry, let me tell you, this isn’t going to be easy to believe, but I’ll show you any proof you want. I promise. “ Dr. Martins stood up and picked something up from his pocket. The thing he held forward looked like a stick and Harry couldn’t quite get what he was looking at. But Gemma, she knew. Since she was a girl she recognized such things, and the thing Dr. Martins showed them definitely wasn’t normal in Harry’s situation.  
“A pregnancy test”, Gemma croaked.


End file.
